1. Be polite but firm
When a patient is repeatedly abusive or makes inappropriate comments, address it the moment it happens. Tell them plainly that the behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated: "I don't like the way you are treating me, and I won't continue to tolerate it," or "That is inappropriate, and you will not speak to me that way." Naming it often gets an apology, or at least stops the behavior.
2. Walk away
Sometimes the right move is to leave the room. If you are angry enough to say something you would regret, excuse yourself, go take a few breaths, and come back when you are calm. You are allowed to be human. Whatever you are tempted to fire back is not worth it. Walk away first.
3. Look for the reason behind it
There is usually something underneath the behavior. After you have addressed it, ask whether something is bothering them. Maybe they got bad news from the doctor, or they are frightened about being in the hospital. None of that excuses how they are treating you, but it may explain it, and talking it through can settle the patient down.
4. Call security
If you feel threatened, call security without hesitating. If the patient escalates, call immediately. Security exists to keep staff and patients safe, so let them step in before verbal abuse turns physical. Protect yourself first. Healthcare workers absorb a large share of workplace violence (the BLS counted healthcare workers in about 73% of nonfatal workplace injuries from violence in 2018), so reporting each incident is part of how units get safer over time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I have to put up with an abusive patient? No. A degree of rudeness from sick, frightened people is part of the work, but abuse is not. The American Nurses Association states plainly that nurses should not accept violence or abuse as a condition of the job.
What do I say to a patient who is verbally abusive? Name the behavior calmly and set a limit in the moment: "That is inappropriate, and you will not speak to me that way." Stating it clearly often stops it or earns an apology.
When should I call security? The moment you feel threatened or the patient escalates. Do not wait to see if it gets worse. Security exists to step in before verbal abuse becomes physical.
Should I document verbal abuse? Yes. Workplace violence is widely underreported, and documentation is what drives staffing, policy, and training changes. Report each incident through your facility's process.
Is it unprofessional to walk away from an abusive patient? No. Stepping out to collect yourself before you say something you would regret protects both you and the patient. Return when you are calm.
Why does looking for the reason behind the behavior help? Abuse often masks fear or bad news. Naming the underlying worry does not excuse the behavior, but it frequently lowers the temperature and lets you solve the real problem.