5 Funny Things That’ll Tell You're Friends With A Nurse

Being friends with a nurse means you have a walking reference desk on call. Pregnancy, hangovers, that weird thing your body is doing, they have an answer. Five signs the friend is a nurse.

1. They give you weight-loss advice they don't follow.

A nurse can deliver a full lecture on losing weight and then complain in the same breath about their own muffin top. They will sign you up for gym classes and help you prep healthy meals, then turn up with a giant coffee and a late-night pizza.

"My nurse friend is my go-to for diet motivation. She'll tell me everything I shouldn't be eating while stuffing her face with fries and a cheeseburger. And no, she doesn't share," a 25-year-old teacher said.

2. They keep antiemetics on hand.

Nurses rarely get drunk, especially when they might get called in. But they keep antiemetics around for friends who can't hold their liquor. It is not that a vomiting friend bothers them. They just want to spare you the kind of humiliation that makes you swear off leaving the house.

3. They correct medical shows in real time.

A nurse will catch every wrong move a TV doctor makes and tell you exactly what the scene got wrong. They will demonstrate the correct procedure if you let them. Stuck on a diagnosis you don't understand? Ask them instead of reaching for your phone.

4. They'll watch horror movies with you.

Not everyone can sit through stabbings and gore. Pick your nurse friend. Exposed organs and blood do not faze them, and they will tell you how unfazed they are.

"A nurse friend took me to a horror movie and joked the whole time about me fainting. A character took a hacking wound to the stomach, and while I was pointing out the visible organs, I looked over and she was bolting for the door. She spent five minutes throwing up in the restroom and never mentioned the movie again," an ER nurse said.

5. They won't let you lie to yourself.

Nurses know when a patient is lying, so they know when you are too. They will call it before you can. They won't let you tolerate a bad relationship, bad habits at home, or a negative coping streak. Nurses are blunt about reality. It can be annoying in the moment, but they won't give up on you until you sort yourself out.